Just Dreaming
by Pikazoom
Summary: Cloud was having dreams about one Squall Leonhart. But not in the way you'd think. Leon/Cloud


A/N: This is the longest fic I have written in a good long time. I felt like it got sort of convoluted along the way, but maybe that's because I didn't plan it out fully. ..; I know not everyone has played Final Fantasy VIII, so I hope I didn't throw in too much technical stuff. But anyway, please enjoy!

Oh, and me being the creative genius that I am, realized that I have another fic with the same title on this site, and they don't like that. So if you see this on Livejournal under a slightly different title, it's the same. Sorry!

**Dreaming**

Cloud cringed in his half-awake state and brought his hand up to shield his eyes from the morning sun. It always seemed much more bright and annoying at this time of day.

He sighed and rolled over in the small bed. He had been dreaming again. A good one this time. The best one in months actually.

It was peculiar. Cloud admittedly hadn't dreamt very much before this (whatever _this_ was exactly), but now it was like his brain had gone and created a whole other world to entertain itself while he slept. It was like following a story. Every night, he had the same identity, living in the same place. He had been growing older over the span of the dreams as well, experiencing new things and meeting various people.

He'd been going to sleep earlier lately. It wasn't that he was so eager to escape to the other world. It was just that sometimes he'd suddenly get tired and pass out where he stood. One time, he had woken up on the street, and everyone thought he'd been drinking too much the night before.

At night he relinquished his name of Cloud Strife. At night, he was Squall Leonhart, gunblade wielder, at 5, 8, 15 and all the other ages in between. And last night, he had been 18, troubled and antisocial. Perhaps not so different from his awake self. His imagination certainly was creative; he'd never even considered the thought of a gunblade beforehand. His mind also saw fit to fill in every crack with specific details. Cloud could recall many points regarding his other identity and his personality, obscure things such as his favorite color and what his petty phobias were.

Cloud sat up and threw his feet over the side of the bed. It seemed, however, that neither of his identities had been very happy recently. He resisted the urge to sigh again. He just couldn't catch a break, awake or asleep.

--

"It's good to have you back Cloud," Aerith admitted in her naturally gentle voice. Cloud didn't say anything in response, but he nodded his head. He actually wasn't sure how he felt about reuniting with them. It was nice to be around people he could actually trust and call friends, but what if Sephiroth appeared? He could be putting them in danger. In fact, he was almost sure of it.

Yuffie suddenly appeared at Cloud's side. It seemed strange that someone with so much energy could escape Cloud's rather exceptional warrior sense, but then again, she was a self-proclaimed ninja. "Wait, there's one person you have to meet!"

"Oh right." Aerith smiled. "He should be coming back soon." Cloud found it vaguely annoying that they decided to omit this person's name like they wanted to surprise him with it. He sat down at the table and waited for Aerith to bring the tea she had promised him earlier.

Cloud sipped at the tea for awhile and actually attempted to earnestly listen to Yuffie prattle on about all the adventures she had been having recently. So much had happened, a great deal of it thanks to Sora. He had ditched Hades and left the Coliseum. He had finally admitted to himself that he had been going about things the wrong way. He was going to change now, he had promised himself.

"Here he is!" Yuffie exclaimed, bouncing up from her chair at the sound of a door closing shut. She momentarily disappeared and Cloud heard a mildly displeased "what the-" come from the hallway she had gone down. Cloud made no movement to get up from his seat. He really didn't feel like giving the ritual handshake introduction right now.

"Cloud, this is-stop being difficult!" She tugged at the man's arm. He was clearly protesting about being dragged over. Cloud cast a bored look in the direction of the doorway. It wasn't like this was going to be a birthday present or anything. "This is-"

He nearly dropped his teacup. "Squall," he murmured, in a disbelieving dazed state.

The brunette's eyes narrowed. "It's Leon, actually."

Well...surprise.

--

Cloud alternated between pacing and collapsing on his bed. So his mind hadn't been making it all up? No no, it was impossible. It wasn't to say for certain that he really had been living as this other person at night. Maybe they didn't have a similar history at all. Maybe it was all just coincidence, with everything from the gunblade to the distinct lion emblem on his jacket and the way the scar fell on his face.

He could have actually believed his own reasoning somehow, if it had not been for Yuffie telling him later that "grouchy-face" had simply decided to change his name from Squall.

Cloud plopped back onto his mattress again. The scar. His left index finger reached up and drew a trail down his forehead to the bridge of his nose. Cloud knew how Squall-no-Leon had gotten the scar. It was something tragic, and he began to recognize in the mornings just how much it had changed this dream man. But Squall had woken up the morning after the incident, saw the healing wound in the mirror, and did nothing. It wasn't as though he had not cared about his appearance at the time; it seemed as though he didn't care it was there. Even after the wound had sealed up into a fresh scar, he did nothing about it. He didn't fret or even try to cover it up with his rather long bangs. Cloud found that interesting somehow.

He wondered what to do. If he slept tonight, would he dream again? The other man was in rather close proximity now. It just made things so much more awkward, although knowing the intimate details of another person without being told by aforementioned person was already pretty unsettling for Cloud.

He tried to think how it had all started. He rolled over on the bed so that his face was nearly suffocated by the fluffy sheets beneath him. What had he been doing the day the dreams started? That day was too mundane to be recalled. It blended in with all the others too well.

But the first dream he could recall. Cloud thought harder. He remembered a girl, one that he recognized from the day before. What was her name...the dream had been about the day she left. She had told Squall to be strong and that she loved him. But Squall, being much younger then, had cried like a baby after she had disappeared. She had been like an older sister.

Ellone. He had crashed into her the day before somewhere in Traverse Town and then escorted her to her destination because of the threat of Heartless. Perhaps she had been looking for Squall that time. But that was the only instance where he had seen her in real life. When the dreams started, he had started to worry that he had somehow become infatuated with her in addition to his mind going haywire. Certainly she had been cute, but Cloud wasn't the type of person to believe in or act on love at first sight.

She had done something to him. She had some sort of powers, but what they were specifically had never been dictated in his dreams. It was a rather weak theory, but it was the only one he had at the moment.

It was hard to pretend that he hadn't dreamt. Hadn't seen the Squall Leonhart's world through Squall Leonhart's eyes. It was hard to deny that Cloud knew so many important things about his life and essentially why he was the way he was. It was perplexing and irritating. He didn't know whether to keep silent, therefore making him the only one to feel awkward, or confront the other, which would in turn make his whole living arrangement awkward instead.

He turned over, closed his eyes, and slept.

--

Cloud lasted only a couple months before he finally fessed up. The dreams had continued, and distance he put between Leon and himself was getting to be painfully obvious. It seemed like he had made his new home rather tense even without saying anything.

He barely spoke to the Leon, and Aerith tried to use the fact that they had known him longer as an excuse. She insisted that Cloud would warm up to him sooner or later. No, that was hardly the problem. The problem was that Cloud knew the other too intimately to be comfortable around him. He often spent his day trying to remain out of the other's line of vision. He purposely left a bit later in the mornings and only came back when the sun had fully set.

It was eating away at him. Cloud tried very hard not to care about the dreams that kept coming. He was more than frustrated at his current situation. He attempted to act like he didn't know about how hard Leon had trained in order to fully utilize the gunblade's potential or why those red wings graced the back of Leon's jacket. He cared about the person in his dreams. He wanted to ask questions, wanted to help him perhaps. But there was the problem of awkward circumstances and having to answer queries he himself didn't know all the answers to.

On the other hand, Cloud had been slipping up right from the start. He never asked Leon the basic questions like how much sugar or cream in his coffee; he just _knew_ and served it up without thinking about it. He should have caught himself, but sometimes he'd have waves of what seemed like clairvoyance, doing things as he had in his dreams. Cloud always berated himself mentally everytime Leon gave him a look of surprise. He had the feeling the Leon was starting to get suspicious. Not about something as farfetched as having constant dreams about his life, but something along the lines of stalkers and obsessions. That wasn't really the reputation he wanted to have. Brooding loner he could handle, but not creepy follower.

"Shit," Cloud murmured when he realized how he had made Leon's tea exactly to his liking. Probably was just the right temperature too. The other raised an eyebrow at the curse but said nothing. He took the teacup off the table and gave it a sip.

Cloud sat in the chair opposite to Leon and cupped the porcelain in his hands. The heat radiated into his palms, making them uncomfortably warm as he stared into the liquid. This was quite a rare occurence. Being alone with Leon, to be more precise. Usually someone else was around to help alleviate the strange atmosphere until Cloud could slip away silently but it seemed they were inconveniently missing today.

"This is good," Leon told him, referring to the tea. Cloud grasped his own cup in one hand and gave it a quick sip.

"Ah..." Leon's attempt at conversation lapsed into silence. The two of them finished their tea while Cloud once again debated what to say or even if he should say anything at all.

"Do you know a girl named Ellone?" Cloud asked hesitantly, not looking up from his tea. It seemed to be the safest way to start the conversation.

Leon paused. "I haven't heard that name in a long time," he mused rather darkly. It was a name that reminded him all too much about the past he'd rather forget.

"I met her." Cloud hesitated. "A few months ago."

"Did she say something about me?" Leon looked rather intrigued now. Cloud shook his head.

"I wanted to know...what kind of power she has."

Leon leaned back in his seat. "She didn't talk about it much." Cloud knew his words were being examined carefully at that point. During their meeting she really hadn't blurted anything out about it, and Leon knew that she wouldn't tell someone she didn't trust. "She could speak with others telepathically. And how do I explain...she could move people's consciousness to other people."

"Could they see into that person's past?"

"...she used it on you," Leon realized.

"I saw you," Cloud blurted. Or rather, he had thought he had been him. That was one confusing and embarassing mess he'd rather not admit to.

"What did you see?" His tone was almost threatening. Just as Cloud expected, Leon was not very happy about these turn of events.

"A lot of things," Cloud admitted, trying to avoid the other man's gaze. "You grew up in an orphanage. Your emblem is Griever. You got your scar-"

"Don't say it," Leon warned with one gloved hand placed quickly and angrily on the table. Then he sighed and stood up. Leon slowly turned away and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. I know it's not you doing this."

Cloud rose out of his chair. "Listen," Leon began without turning around, "I'll...talk to you later." Then he walked off, most likely to clear his thoughts.

Well, that had not gone very smoothly. Cloud sighed and gathered up their teacups. Things were out of his hands for now.

--

It had already been a couple days since then, and still no word from Leon. In fact, he hadn't even seen the other. Either he did a much better job at avoiding people than Cloud or he had gone off somewhere for a few days. Since both Aerith and Yuffie had mentioned nothing about a mini-vacation, Cloud had to assume it was the former.

He was rather frustrated right now. He had been taking some time off from helping out the Restoration Committee in order to try and find Ellone. So far, there had been no success. But the dreams were still continuing, and Cloud decided to take that as a sign. He wandered on.

In fact, the timeline of the dreams had mysteriously leapt forward. Maybe Ellone had gotten curious to how Leon had been doing lately. Last night, "Cloud" had met himself for the first time. It was embarassing and comical, seeing the way his eyes had visibly widened as he called out the name "Squall," only to be rebuffed soon after.

And he listened to Aerith, Yuffie, and Tifa talk to Leon about him. It made him feel more intrusive than usual, hearing all these things about him. Much of it was their insistence that Cloud would eventually come to be a part of their strange but cordial family, but a great deal of it was also praise about him. They talked about his skill as a swordsman and the good qualities in his character in such a way that made his heart swell. It made him believe that he could destroy the darkness that had plagued him for such a long time.

Leon had already heard a lot of things about Cloud. They had even told him about the time they had gotten Cloud to crossdress, ribbon in his pretty blonde hair and all. That was one story he had definitely not wanted getting out. Yuffie had been practically rolling on the floor laughing while Aerith smiled behind a polite hand. Leon had chuckled a bit but didn't really say anything regarding the topic.

In a way though, thestorytelling was similar to Cloud learning about Leon. Of course, Ellone's method was much more direct, but definitely along the same lines. It was like collecting pages of a biography waiting to be written. But Leon no longer had anyone to talk about his life except Ellone, but she seemed to be avoiding contact. It must have been lonely, Cloud thought.

After another hour of unsuccessful searching, Cloud went home to people that cared about him.

--

_"Shit."_

_"Cloud" was looking at himself. He was drinking tea with himself. But hands that were distinctly not his but attached to this observing body reached over and placed the porcelain cup to his lips._

_"This is good."_

_"Ah..."_

_The conversation lapsed into silence. Cloud watched his physical self move in and out of Leon's wandering vision. In fact, he was quite surprised that Leon had been gazing at him at all, as if he had expected him to say something. And the Cloud inhabiting Leon's mind knew exactly what his tea partner would say next._

_"Do you know a girl named Ellone?"_

_"...I haven't heard that name in a long time."_

_Cloud was staring into a mirror, but it was Leon that was staring back. His eyes were once again focused on the scar on his forehead. He knew Leon would only gaze at the mark; he'd never touch it or cover it under bangs that were now even longer than in his younger years._

_He was troubled by the mark, but he'd never cover it up. Cloud figured that it reminded Leon so much of the past he was trying to forget but could never fully let go. He was conflicted and guilty. Cloud understood that feeling all too well._

_Leon turned away from the mirror. He looked around his room, considering something. He wandered over to his small wooden desk and pulled out a pen and paper. He leaned over the surface and scrawled a note:_

_Ellone, if you see this, let's meet._

And then the dream severed.

Cloud's eyes slowly opened. It was early. It was only 5 am, according to his clock. He groaned and sat up. Maybe he'd gotten a bit too used to these dreams at night. He didn't feel tired enough to go back to sleep though.

_I'm sorry,_ a foreign voice echoed in his ears. Cloud shot upright from his previously groggy position, alert and ready like any good fighter.

_I've gotten you into trouble._ Ellone. Leon had mentioned that she also had telepathic abilities.

_Why...why me? You didn't even ask if I knew him._ Cloud thought, hoping it would reach her. He wasn't sure how this whole thing worked in detail.

There was no reply for a time, and he wondered if she had heard. He stood up to go wash his face in the bathroom.

_I think...I trusted you._

_I don't understand._ Cloud was finding the whole experience stranger by the minute. Communication without gesture, speaking, or writing was very strange and unique. He could be brushing his teeth while solving a complex puzzle and still be able to converse without much effort. The power of the mind.

_I felt like...I could trust you with his memories._ It sounded ridiculous, showing a total stranger someone else's life story, but apparently it made a lot of sense to her. _I can't use my powers on myself, so I need a vessel._

Cloud snorted to himself. _Obviously he doesn't feel the same._ He really was brushing his teeth now. He was looking in the mirror, but it was his own blue eyes looking back this time.

He heard a giggle resound somewhere in his mind. _He's just being stubborn._

_Listen, Cloud...do you care about him?_

Cloud sat down at the desk in his room. It was the same as Leon's, although placed in a different corner.

_I...I guess._ It was an understatement. It was kind of hard to live someone's life and not care.

_Then I think things will be okay._ Cloud didn't know what that was supposed to mean, but he accepted it anyway.

_Are you going to see him?_ he asked.

A pause. _I don't know._

_You should._

_I've been away for a long time._

_I don't see why that matters._ Leon knew she was around now. He wanted to see her. He even used her abilities to make that known to her.

_Since the time I left...I haven't spoken to him. Not even like this._

_He'll forgive you, you know._

_I know._ And after that, Ellone ceased to say anything. Cloud couldn't tell if she just wasn't replying or had just stopped reading his thoughts. After a few minutes, he stood up and got dressed. He didn't grab his sword just yet; he had woken up too early to head out.

Instead he headed to the kitchen for some breakfast. Coming around the corner though, he could hear the pleasant clank of dishes already in progress. So this was how Leon had managed to stay out of sight. The hall smelled of toast with butter.

Cloud entered casually, trying to make it seem like they both woke up this early on a regular basis and that Leon hadn't been avoiding him for the past couple days. Neither of them gave a good morning greeting, although Leon laid a plate of toast out in front of him as an invitation.

The two of them ate without conversation. They consumed the toast, which was admittedly better made than when Cloud attempted them. The toast crunched loudly in their jaws, but that was the only sound in the kitchen. When they were done eating, however, neither made a move to gather the plates. They still had some time till the girls woke up; they had somehow decided without any physical indication that they were going to sit here like manly idiots until something got worked out.

"I thought I'd be able to forget it all," Leon spoke. "No one knew who I was." They both absentmindedly began to watch Leon's fingers drums lightly on the table. They made almost no noise, only brushing the tabletop. "Changed my name and everything."

Leon, seemingly annoyed by the light thumps he was making with his own fingers, brought his hand up in a fist and rested his cheek on it.

"And now there's Ellone. And you," he added on at the end. It sounded sort of accusing, as though he was blaming them for dragging his past life into a collision course with his present, although Leon probably hadn't meant it in that way.

"It wasn't your fault." Cloud let the statement hang in the air.

"What was?"

"The way they all disappeared."

Leon directed a hard gaze at his plate. "You can't say that for sure."

"You couldn't have taken on all the Heartless by yourself." Cloud knew this just as well as Leon. Even Sora had had Donald and Goofy on his quest.

"They relied on me. I was supposed to protect them."

"They all knew how to fight. They weren't helpless."

Leon sighed. He put his elbows on a table and threaded his fingers together in a thinking pose. "I know."

"You were just...lucky."

"I know."

The two of them were going to great lengths not to so much as glance at each other during the whole conversation. Leon obviously did not want to be told something he himself knew deep down, but Cloud (surprisingly) felt like he had a lot to say. It seemed so rude though, like he was going to be giving commentary on a movie that just happened to be Leon's life story.

Instead, "Don't make yourself lonely, Squall."

The other didn't so much as budge at the use of his former identity. "Same to you, Cloud," he replied cooly. Bullseye.

It was one thing to be surrounded by people, but it was something different to integrate with them. The two of them understood this quite well; they had just taken different paths to achieve the same result. Leon had taken on the role of a leader, too responsible and work-oriented to really approach as a casual companion. Sure, the girls entertained him with embarassing stories about Cloud, but none of them really approached him as a close friend. Only Yuffie, who was amiable with everyone, could ignore this quality and thoroughly pester Leon.

On the other hand, Cloud had taken the route of a true loner up until a few months ago. Even now, he didn't converse much. He was available mostly at the end of the day when he'd magically appear for dinner made by someone else who was a much better chef than himself.

"It's weird," Leon commented.

"Huh?"

"You knowing everything about me."

"Ahh..." Well, there was no denying that.

"I don't like it." The statement was true, no doubt, but it lacked hostility.

Cloud shrugged. "Nothing I can do about it."

"Well...at least I wasn't forced to wear a dress I guess." Leon smirked. A challenge.

Cloud glared. "At least I wasn't a crybaby as a kid."

"Yuffie offered to show me a picture." Cloud had really hoped the Heartless had swallowed all of those up.

"I've got a lot more dirt on you than that," he offered up in reply, leaning forward on the table. The plates and bread crumbs were long forgotten on the wooden surface.

"But you have no proof," Leon countered, clearly enjoying this standoff.

This was probably the longest conversation they'd had with each other so far. It was eccentric in a way, because they threw verbal jabs at each other like old friends. It was something Leon hadn't been able to do in a long time. Aerith looked pleasantly surprised when she walked into the kitchen that morning.

Metal clashed against metal, strength trying to overcome strength. The two of them were sparring now, as suggested by Aerith since they were now, as she put it, "getting along so well."

Leon no longer used the gun aspect of his weapon, although according to him, there were still bullets loaded. Instead, he had switched to conjuring fireballs that had somewhat better range. There was no doubt that those shots were something to watch out for; Leon still had exceptional accuracy from his gunblade training. He also knew when the opportunity was right to use them.

Cloud thought fast on his feet. He kept First Tsurugi wrapped up most of the time, so he rarely utilized the sheer arsenal of sword types. He could fly though, something that seemed to annoy Leon to no end. It was the quickest way to put the other on defense, although he had to make sure he didn't end up with face full of fire when he swooped in to attack.

Who knows how long they had been fighting. He assumed Leon was keeping track of time, seeing as he had actual duties to attend to.

Cloud moved in on ground. He had a slight speed advantage over Leon despite his huge sword. The other moved his gunblade between them for a block but suddenly seemed distracted. He slid backwards from the impact of First Tsurugi but then pushed up and manuevered his gunblade out from underneath. In one fluid motion, he swung down and gently pushed Cloud's sword to the ground. The tip hit the ground with an unpleasant thunk that sent a slight vibration up Cloud's arms.

"Hold on for a second." Leon sat down, taking the opportunity to wipe the thin film of sweat off his forehead. Cloud stood there inquisitively, watching the other zone out. He was getting pretty warm too. He pulled of the sleeve concealing his left arm and took a seat next to the now passive gunblade.

"She's calling," was all Leon told him, who then went back to staring absentmindedly at the sky.

Cloud tried to steady his breath after all the exercise they had just gotten. He looked around, taking in the nice weather, but his gaze eventually fell upon Leon's scar. It seemed to come out of habit after doing the same in his dreams. Or at least, that's what he told himself. He was staring, but not into a mirror. Now it was the real thing. And now he had the urge to run a finger down Leon's forehead, tracing the path of his scar.

Leon stood up suddenly. Cloud blinked, caught very obviously off-guard at the moment.

"Come on," Leon told him, picking up his gunblade while for motioning Cloud to follow with his other hand.

Cloud moved slowly to his feet. "Where to?"

"To give you a proper introduction with my sister." Leon sounded quite proud saying that. Cloud wondered what the two of them had talked about. So much time had passed since their last real meeting, yet Leon still called her his sister. They must have been close before she left.

Cloud heard a feminine laugh in the back of his mind. _You really shouldn't stare._

What? Oh. He pretended to clear his throat so he could bring his hand up to cover his face, which had turned a bit red at the moment.

Leon smirked at Cloud's attempt to hide himself. "So you 'care about me,' huh?" he pried. Cloud just scowled in response. The two of them were conspiring against him!

Leon turned around and moved to block Cloud's linear walking path. The other came to a sharp halt lest he knock heads rather ungracefully with this sudden intruder. But their heads were awfully close at the moment anyway. Close enough for a nice headbutt, or perhaps for other things as well.

The atmosphere changed from light-hearted to serious in a split second. Cloud tried not to meet eyes with him at first but everntually realized that his attention was desired at the moment. He looked up, wincing a bit at the sunlight that had entered into his vision.

"So tell me," Leon began, "am I just disillusioned?"

It was a vague question. One that Cloud understood the context to quite quickly.

"Maybe," Cloud breathed, but made the sarcasm very apparent in his gaze and the taunting look he was giving the other.

"I see." Leon smirked again, "I guess I'll just have to keep on hallucinating then."

"Guess so," Cloud replied. Their eyes didn't move. They were having a rather awkward moment, Cloud thought in the back of his mind. "Well?" he queried.

"I was waiting for you to make up your mind."

"Oh." Leon was in total control over him. It was embarassing. And frustrating.

Cloud rolled his eyes at Leon's amused face and moved in for the kill. His lips met Leon's expectant ones in a short, forceful yet innocent gesture. To his surprise, the lips he had just kissed curled into an honest smile. It was something he'd never seen in his many dreams. Leon hadn't exactly practiced being friendly and amiable in a mirror.

"Won't your sister be wondering where we are?" Cloud asked, finally breaking the chain of silence.

"Ah, yeah." Leon backed up a few steps. "We'll...finish this later."

"Is that a promise?" Cloud asked as the two of them began their walk side-by-side.

"Guess so," Leon shrugged, although they both knew the real answer. The conversation went to silence then, but it was much less tense than a few days ago. And maybe it was a different sort of tension now.

About a mile in to their walk, Leon opened his mouth. "You know, she could be your sister too."

"What?"

Leon murmured into his ear, blowing on the Fenrir earring Cloud was wearing. "She'd just have to be your sister-in-law."

Cloud snorted. "In your dreams, Leonhart."

**End**


End file.
